La Playa, La Plage, The Beach

Today's episode will focus primarily on that beacon of hope known to all Spaniards as... the beach.

Barcelona has many city beaches. Unfortunately, it also has many tourists and citizens who GO to these beaches. And even more unfortunate is that many people have cultivated businesses on these beaches selling anything you could think of under the sun. Literally.

So you are sitting on this hot beach, just next to the city, lathering on the sunscreen when you hear what I refer to as the "Barcelona Beach Chant." It goes a little something like this:

Agua, Fanta, Cerveza, Cola
Cola, Agua, Fanta, Coca Cola Light
Cold Bier, Agua my friends

Interspersed with drink suggestions is:

Masaje, Massage?
Masaje, chicas?

And, my personal favorite:

Emmmm---panadas!
Emmmmm---panadas!
EMM---PANADAS!

You mix these all together and throw in a few coco's, the occasional Tatuaje (tatoo) and Vestidas! Faldas! Pantalones! And you are on your way to Chanting.

The problem with all these businesses as we recently found out is that they are in fact, illegal.

I got a massage (NOT THAI!) from a small Asian woman. When I was done, Ila got one as well. Smothered in baby oil and half-asleep, Ila was enjoying the rub down. That is, until it abruptly ended. I look over and see a policeman tap the Asian on the shoulder and then tell her in Spanish, "If you want to make money, go somewhere else."

She was taken over to another officer and stood there, sort of looking guilty, sort of smiling. Then we realized that there was no more humming or chanting. We looked around and not an Asian, Pakistani or Indian was in sight! Silence had fallen on Barceloneta, and it felt weird. After about 20 minutes and the Police officer escort, somehow the Asian emerged from the beach as I knew she would. (to collect the 5 euros Ila owed her)

So what is the moral of this story? Well, for the Asian I am sure it is something along the lines of Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff. For the rest of the beach-goers, I'm sure in those short 20 minutes without access to overpriced drinks and cheap masaje-massages made us all realize that we have become accustomed to this lifestyle and as much as we hate it, we need it. At least, when we are at the beach.

But I also need to mention one little factoid not previously discussed that is a vital part of the beach chant. The medusa warnings!

It reads, since we have heard it about 25,000 times: The yellow flag indicates the detection of jellyfish. While swimming, please stay away from Jell-A-fish. If you are allergic, do not swim.

And then this announcement is spoken in Catalan, Castellano, German and French. Since the word for jellyfish in virtually all those languages is Medusa, we made a little joke about the Asian masseuses after the police exile.

"The Policeman indicates the detection of Masseuses. While sun-bathing, please stay away from Masseuses. If you are allergic, do not get a massage."

And then shortly after there was the re-emergence of the Masseuses. I guess those yellow flags will be up all summer...